I may look like just another pretty pencil, but I'm not.  If somebody would only pick me up.  I'm better than a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters for a million years.  I could write you lines as straight as the led in my belly. 

     "Hey you!  Old man!  Over here.  I can write your memoirs.  Wanna try?  No?

     "Hey Lady!  Over here on the bench.  Ill write you a shopping list like you've never had.  You'll be buying things... wonderful things you've never heard of.  Don't walk away!  I can save your marriage. 

     "Hey, Schoolboy.  That's right, you with the stars in your eyes.  Don't just look at her, fool.  Pick me up.  Together we will write her love letters hot enough to sizzle a stick of cinamon.  Alrighty then.  Bye bye now.

     "Little girl, over here!  You want an A in English?  I'm your pencil.  Hey where're you going!?  I'm pretty good at math, too.  Come on, give me a break!"

     Everybody gone.  Not another train for fifty minutes.  By then, I could be slobbered on and chewed up by a dog.  A magpie could fly away with me and stuff me into his nest a hundred feet above the ground.  Oh no!  Not the janitor!  Anything but the janitor!  Keep that broom away from me!  No!  Help!  Aaaaahhhh!

      So much talent gone to waste.  Apple rind and cracker jacks.  At least the newspapers aren't too prickly.  Nobody's ever going to find me here.  Wait a minute what's that?  Hey, don't squeeze so hard.  I'm only wood, you know.  You wanna break me?  Chubby fingers.  Kinda sweaty, but kinda nice, and smiling eyes.  How old are you, man?  Seven?  What'll it be?  You know your A B C's?  We can start from the beginning.  Im flexible if you don't try to bend me.  I can give you a lifetime of pleasure.  Just stick with me, kid.  Oh, you want a Valentine's Day card for your mom?  Sure.  Why not?  Write about love!  Best subject in the world.  All the masters tried it:  Shakespeare, Moliere, Captain Kirk.  Never heard of em?  O.K., well, first draw a nice, big, heart.  That's right.  Very good.  Is this your first try?  Now letters

dEaR Momy,

Will you bE my SWEATHEART?

luv,

Tommy

Erm, Mommy has three m's and I think you mean 'sweetheart?'  But that's o.k., Tommy.  Even Thomas Wolfe had to start at the beginning.